would you like a present?

Sometimes the only reason why I like giving presents was because its the only thing that I feel people like about me. It sort of comfort me that people still like me, with all the flaws that I have, even if it just because I like giving presents.Watching people who rarely talk to me or not close to me being happy with my gift is sort of my guilty pleasure.

That's why sometimes I feel upset if I don't have enough money to give out present, or when people didn't want to receive my present, because it feels like they don't even like me, for them to even refuse free gift (lol all gift are free right,this is so redundant.)

I don't know, but giving present is such a crucial point in my life.Maybe because I never received much so I tend to associate not receiving presents = not receiving love. So since I don't want people to feel what I used to feel, I will try my hardest to give out gift if I could afford it.I wish people will understand that they don't burden me when I give them, they are actually helping me to feel good about myself.

But at the end of the day, I will always like it if I give out one out of my own will, not when people asked it instead teehee :)