The truth it, the reason why I'm starting this blog because I'm having such a bad day now because all I see these days is a gloomy future for myself. The reason why? Well, I might or might not get a place to further my studies in degree. Depressing enough for me.
The story began like this. The UPU result was announced last week. I was having like a skyrocketing hope that I will get myself a place in Pharmacy in Uitm because I truly, madly, deeply want to further my studies in that field. So while everyone was raving on twitter about how they got their desired course and exchanging information about who got where and what course and whatnot, I'm still waiting for the page of the UPU to load so that I can check my result. I even promise my friends I will tell them as soon as I got the result.
To say I was shocked was an understatement. I can't even comprehend the result that I get because I was purely confidence that I will get a place in UiTM. Turn out my result was this:
I was too shocked that I didn't even knew when my tears start to falling down. I tried to calm my heart and went to do 'sujud syukur' and in my last 'sujud', I pray to Allah to make my heart calm and keep on repeating on how I hope that this is for the best and Allah will only give me want I need,not what I want.
But alas,a mere human can only be sad when something didn't go their way,and that's truly happened with me. It's not that I'm not grateful for what I got because to be honest,there are so many people out there that didn't even get a place at all. I should be grateful aren't I? But I was so sad,I needed time to let the fact sink in. I ended up ranting on twitter and some of my friends tried to comfort me even if they didn't knew the story (I was just vaguely tweeting without actually talking about what happened). After a while,I was somewhat calm enough and I thought "ok now I need to tell my parents,by hook or by crook" And you know what,I'm actually scared to tell them despite my parents being the supportive type.
It all went well when I told my mother.She was like "let's just try this,maybe it's for you".But it all went downhill when the news came to my father.He was so angry with me because he said that he already told me to not apply for the RU because apparently my result is too good that the RU will take me first even for the course that I did'nt even like (this is my mistake because I did'nt even knew that the 3rd and the 4th choices of the RU was optional) that i end up crying right there ( I was sitting on the stairs).Then my father told me that we are going to go the the Bahagian Pengambilan Pelajar UiTM to make 'rayuan'.My father was a lecturer in Uitm so i was hoping this might work after all.
I was moping all day that the only thing that cheered me up was that my Instax Mini 8 arrived just as I was crying over my result. I have been so happy yet so sad at the same time. A bittersweet moment for me.
So this is my bumpy beginning part 1 lol. Another thing happened but let just wait for another post.
well my dear hanaan, it's true. a normal human being will definitely go crazy if they don't get what they want. it was shocking to me too when i laid my eyes on your result. biokimia~ even i have no idea whatsoever on what the particular course is all about. luckily your parents are supportive enough and they didn't just give up on you when you were the one who is in need of a plan to get yourself a place in uitm. I salute your father for what he did. Maybe there wasn't much time for him to think of a plan but with him being a part of uitm, he truly took the opportunity well. Yes, a year was short enough for me to know a girl named Hanaan but she's a strong girl indeed with an amount of courage in her which I adored so much. I wish I can be like her in so many ways but then Ilyana is still Ilyana. Hanaan will stay as Hanaan. Don't you worry. I didn't get my desired course myself although it was my first choice for both Ru and non Ru...plus USM...woww~ seems like i was so damn sure but too bad, i just realised i wasn't that passionate in it. But Alhamdulillah, after quite some time, Yes, I'm sure Allah has opened up my heart to finally accept this fate of mine. It might be all soggy and muddy in the beginning but Muslims are meant to submit themselves to Allah in every aspects of their lives so we should too with pure sincerity. You're a big girl now....the decision is yours, at the end of the day. May Allah ease your journey...
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